people want doing the right thing to be like pulling the correct lever at the correct time but actually usually doing the right thing is more like holding a moderate weight at arm's length continuously for seventeen years
sent an email without exclamation points #mean #meanie #meancore #evilgirl #hurtingyou #indifferent #gayandrude
Okay, new cleaning strategy.
Bad at self-discipline, good at acts of love through service. So I'm gonna clean my house pretending it is the house of someone I love who's been too depressed to clean. She's gonna be so surprised.
I cleared the whole counter that hasn't had space to set a plate down in weeks, at least, so it would be easier for her to cook instead of just eating snacks. I put away everything on the sofa that wasn't a blanket or stuffed animal so she could stretch out if she wanted. I SWEPT and everything looks less lighter and less grungy. There were a bunch of sewing pins spilled to one side of the coffee table that I still hadn't picked up because whatever, I'll get to it, nobody ever walks on that side of the table anyway, but I picked them up because I was worried about her feet.
...I should be a good friend to myself more often.
also I cannot get sapphic knight/princess scenarios out of my head tonight
I want to feel strong hands delicately tracing along the ties of my bodice.
I want to worship sore muscles and tense shoulders once we're alone. I want to strip away your armor.
I want it to be your turn to feel safe. I want your face nestled against my breasts and your legs tangled with mine.
if mangoes didn’t have the stone in the middle, humanity would reach a new level of hedonism. we could just eat thru the whole thing without having to think. we’d permanently regress to a primal state. the seed grounds us, makes us careful when we eat. this defines us. fuck i wish i had a mango
i have too much joie de vivre for this
i’m so serious when i say excessive fear of being annoying/creepy/taking up people’s energy etc holds us back. it seems like it’s just little things but they add up. over the past month i’ve ordered food and drinks almost exclusively by asking “do you have a favorite?” and i know if i said that on twitter or wherever ppl would dogpile me for demanding emotional labor of servers or w/e but every single person i’ve asked has seemed genuinely psyched to answer! i don’t ask if it’s busy obvi, and use a phrasing that gives them the easy out of “i don’t have one”— but no one has taken it! the girl at the cafe confessed to me with something like conspiracy in her voice how everybody raves about the gluten free chocolate chip cookies and sure, they’re great, but the delicious, fluffy homemade waffles are RIGHT THERE. the barbera the bartender recommended was actually kind of awful but it broke the ice and we ended up talking for like 45 minutes. the bodega guy declared that he usually makes himself a burger but tonight was “a breakfast sandwich night” and tbh he was totally right. it WAS a breakfast sandwich night
glad u guys are enjoying this post bc i’m quickly becoming incapable of ordering stuff any other way. i sat at the bar at a crowded brunch place the other day and it was a gamble bc i realize the gal was probably stressed, but when i did go ahead and ask she told me “oh the banana french toast. definitely” with an almost religious certainty. now normally i don’t order french toast! i don’t have that kind of courage! but when she came over later to ask me how the french toast was i got to look this human being in the eyes and answer “life-affirming,” to which she responded “RIIIIIIIGHT”. anyway, live deliciously

